A Unhealthy Uncle’s Information To Harmful Presents For Kids

Black Friday has come and gone. And for you other uncles out there, it means your time forgetting about buying totally inappropriate gifts for your nephews and nieces is quickly running out. Allow me to help.

Light, nimble, and fast … these aren’t words you would normally use for a Harley, but the automaker’s new line of electric push bikes, bicycles, scooters, and even motorcycles holds great promise. (Photo: Harley-Davidson)

Your first motorcycle

Everyone knows that motorcycles are dangerous. Fortunately, young bones heal faster than old ones; There is no better time to start riding than as a kid.

How old does a child have to be before you can give them their first motorcycle? According to Harley-Davidson, the new electric balance bikes are suitable for children aged three and over. So of course I gave my best friend’s son, Wilder, his first pig for his second birthday.

The IRONe12 ($ 650) weighs just 17 pounds, so even Wilder’s father can easily load it in and out of his truck. It works on a twist throttle so Wilder learns real motorcycle steering skills as well as balance while cruising this thing over trails at a top speed of nine mph.

The two-ampere-hour battery is only enough for about 30 minutes of driving. Therefore, in addition to a helmet, order your niece or nephew an additional one.


Your first knife

According to a study by the National Library of Medicine, knives send an average of 1,190 Americans to the emergency room every day. I gave the motorcycle to Wilder because his mother told me two were too young for a first knife. What is the right age Of course, every child is different, but Boy Scouts earn their totin ‘chip at the age of ten (that’s a learner’s license to knives).

I’m pretty sure my birth nephew Roscoe is eight years old. For Christmas this year, I sent a Swiss Army Hunter’s Knife ($ 30) to his home in France. This is the model I had when I was his age, and it comes complete with a saw, scissors, and awl (in addition to the blades and other tools) that I remember regularly using various forts and Having built weapons.

There are other knives with blunt tips and supposedly learner-friendly features, but in my opinion it is better for a child as an avowed non-parent to learn how to deal with reality. Pain remains an effective teacher. I still have a Swiss Army knife saw scar over my left thumb – but I haven’t injured myself with a saw since.

The real risk is relative and often deceptive.  Trampolines might slip past some parents more easily than technically less dangerous gifts like knives. The real risk is relative and often deceptive. Trampolines might slip past some parents more easily than technically less dangerous gifts like knives. (Photo: The Original Toy Company)

A trampoline

My two year old niece Sarah lives in Los Angeles and doesn’t have a yard big enough for archery or motorcycling. However, trampolines can be stored vertically, which means they don’t take up more space than a card table. According to the Academy of Pediatrics, trampolines are responsible for injuring at least 100,000 children each year, a third of whom break bones.

But they’re also great fun. So my wife and I picked one for $ 90, which comes in bright colors and is suitable for Sarah’s age. We look forward to seeing their parents’ faces non-stop on Zoom after a long Christmas morning.

I suppose a sleeping bag alone isn't particularly dangerous.  However, you can use them to make dangerous activities easier. I suppose a sleeping bag alone isn’t particularly dangerous. However, you can use them to make dangerous activities easier. (Photo: Big Agnes)

Camping gear

There is no better experience for a child than a camping trip. Aside from the weather, the quality of your camping equipment is the most important determinant of enjoying a night in the woods. I think most parents probably don’t spend as much time looking into this stuff as I do. And since I don’t have to pay the bills for babysitting and piano lessons, I think it is my duty as a holy uncle to help out with the equipment.

Big Agnes makes a handful of killer sleeping bags for kids that can be combined with any 20 inch wide rectangular pad. They make children feel comfortable up to 15 degrees (when combined with an insulated cushion) and use synthetic insulation that stays warm when it gets wet. Better still, they’re affordable, starting at $ 70.

Kids can’t really camp without an adult, so the greatest helping hand you can put on as a gift giver is adult gear. The size of your tent on a three or four person model could help B. could upgrade the sleep system to something warmer, more comfortable or lighter. Here you will find my recommendations for sleeping systems for backpack tours for two people and for camping bodies for cars here.

Of course, the best you can offer is to take your niece or nephew on a camping trip yourself.


Your first bow

This year too, Wilder’s mother told me that he was still too young for a knife. However, a study by the National Library of Medicine assures me that archery is actually safer than most field sports. I was confident that I would order a bow and arrow from Wilder for his third birthday.

The Fleetwood Lil ‘John Youth Recurve Set ($ 99) is suitable for children ages three to six. So Wilder should be able to enjoy this thing for at least a year before growing out of it.

Roscoe’s approximate age makes him too tall for the Lil ‘John, so I sent him the Easton Beginner Archery Set ($ 110) for Christmas, which is suitable for ages eight and up. The likelihood that my sister will actually let him Use this thing are slim, but that at least means that he will look forward to archery next time I visit.

Both bows contain only three arrows. Children learning archery lose arrows at a terrifying rate, so I ordered six extra for each bow. Make sure you do the same with arrows of the correct length. Parents are also likely to value a goal. The relatively low draw weight for these arches means that a hay bale with a few spots sprayed on will work perfectly.

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Main photo: Wes Siler

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