Ask any Central Floridian where they go for their home improvement, construction, property maintenance, and animal husbandry needs and they will most likely look at you like you’re some kind of donkey boy. That’s because for the better part of the 21st century, any self-respecting Disney parasite knew that the only real place to go was SPW. Long before there was The Home Depot, Lowe’s or Slick Rick’s Five Finger Emporium, there was SPW.
Of course, all Harry Potter neophytes would soon learn that ole’ Slick Pete’s Warehousing (SPW, for short) was encumbered by its insistence on being a single, true bricks & mortar business that would only ever exist in the shadow of the Orlando Eye next to the water reclamation plant off of International Drive. It was quite the distance for those willing to make the drive from Clear Mountain (pronounced “Clairmont ” by the French-speaking locals) or Apopka (or Large Potato, Florida as the white locals would eventually call it, brushing off the Seminole language).
All of this has now changed! Ole’ Pete has decided that the radical left has become too much for him, and like Shamu, he’s leaving Orlando’s city limits. He’s put his daughter/niece, Pollyanna, in charge, and this parakeet is ready to let SPW fly!
Putting the business in the hands of numerous, longstanding, well-respected business men and women who have known Orlando for at least seven (7) years, Pollyanna, better known as P’anna to the landsharks, is having SPW franchised and placed in every place that a Central Floridian would want to be.
Check these places out!