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America may be walking on dunkin ‘, but it definitely won’t ride a bike.
Dunkin ‘Donuts’ annual Christmas sale features a wide variety of goodies with splashes of orange and magenta. Baseball caps, aprons, hoodies, bedspreads – even a mini fridge – the bold, colorful logo of the donut chain makes it all perfect.
But the big ticket – at least the one we noticed – was the $ 500 dunkin donuts Tandem bike. And of course, part of the reason is the same Pavlovian move. You can’t look at the bike and you don’t want to start chewing on the top tube.
But something else made us stare at this bike. It just looks … wrong. Look – what do you see?
It reminds us of this Renderings of bicycles from memory. They look almost mobile, just not as if MC Escher were a frame welder.
Still don’t you see Here it is Paul Smith’s immaculately built tandem. It costs $ 27,000 and is a good example of what a tandem should look like.
The America goes on dunkin ‘tandemon the other hand costs 500 US dollars. And as it stands, it’s almost worth every penny. Where is the back triangle to start with? The rear seat is just behind the axle. And the seat tube also seems to be a rear fork? Mmm, flexy!
Let’s stay in the background for a moment – check out these cranks. You just go straight into the axis. It looks like someone – Doctors Frankenstein and Moreau? – processed a unicycle on the back of a normal bicycle. We’re not sure how this will even work. Also, what happens when those rear cranks turn? Surely it looks like you will smash this derailleur in the first revolution.
In all honesty, it looks less like a tandem and more like one and a half. Really just imagine two people actually on this thing – not even driving on it, just on it. You’d better be friendly because Charlie will be in the back seat of the driver’s business – “Mmm, your hair smells good!”
This bike may be a Photoshop order from someone who got an idea of what a tandem looks like and doesn’t point out the real bike you will receive. But Dunkin ‘says nothing about that in the description.
In all fairness, this bike is exactly what you would expect from a donut shop: so bad for you and yet somehow so good at the same time.